I have to admit that I, being a Marriage Junkie, hadn’t really thought about this until I read “The Obamas can be model for marriage” (by Cynthia Tucker – The Atlanta Journal-Constitution).
One of the most significant changes President-elect Barack Obama could have over the next four years has nothing to do with who he appoints to his Cabinet, the pieces of legislation he signs into law or the inspirational speeches he gives.
It has everything to do with his marriage to Michelle.
For more than four decades, great concern has been expressed about the condition of the African American family and the state of marriage in the black community.
In 1965, The Moynihan Report, a Department of Labor sponsored report raised concerns over the rising out-of-wedlock birthrate amongst African Americans (at the time, one-quarter of births were to unmarried women). Over the years, many black leaders, ministers and celebrities have voiced concern over the rising levels of fatherlessness and family breakdown in the African-American family. In recent years, campaigns such as Black Marriage Day and the African American Healthy Marriage Initiative have attempted to raise awareness of the importance and necessity for marriage in the black community.
(A great report to read is “Responding to the Black Marriage Crisis: A New Vision for Change”)
Could 2008 be the beginning of a new and much needed trend that revitalizes black marriage and the African American family?
Barack Obama gave a Father’s Day Sermon on the issue of fatherlessness stating that too many black fathers are “missing from too many lives and too many homes.” They “have abandoned their responsibilities, acting like boys instead of men. And the foundations of our families are weaker because of it.”
After getting some flack on his message from the likes of Rev. Jesse Jackson, Obama defended his message saying, “I won’t back up one bit in asserting that is a problem that we have to be honest about.”
In the years to come, if marriage gets revived in the black community, I believe it won’t be due to new legislation or new laws … it will likely be due to the genuine example of the healthy and loving marriage of the new President and First Lady. Barack and Michelle Obama exemplify the characteristics and qualities of married life that married couples and singles (despite their color or race) can be challenged and encouraged by.
And this opinion comes from a married, white guy who voted for John McCain.
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Posted at Ramblings of a Marriage Junkie (www.marriagejunkie.com) by K. Jason Krafsky, author of Before “I Do” (www.fullmarriageexperience.com) who is in all ways a Marriage Junkie.
Copyright © 2008 by K. Jason Krafsky – Permission granted to use and reproduce with proper source citation.
December 4, 2008 at 9:49 am
Jason, it’s good that you brought this up. But I think even more important than the Obamas’ marriage is the vision that their life experience has given them regarding the access to the American dream – home, meaningful work, quality time with family.
Obama’s got some good policy proposals to strengthen families. We ought to give them a serious look:
http://www.barackobama.com/issues/family
December 6, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Jason, I hope that the Obamas’ marriage will serve as a much needed role model for Blacks. The Cosby show was fine, but it was a fictional family; whereas, the Obamas are the real thing. I don’t think that marriage rates will increase amongst Blacks however, because I don’t think that there’s enough incentive for Black men to propose marriage and/or enough incentive for Black women to accept their proposals. Is marriage a good deal for Black men? It seems to me that whenever Black men get involved in the legal system that they get the “short-end of the stick”. The statistics reveal that even when Blacks do get married that they have higher rates of divorce. Frankly, it doesn’t make sense for Black men to invest in an institution that benefits women and children primarily. It seems like a risky investment period. The golden years of being a “family man” in America are long gone. Whose going for those roles of husband and father anymore anyway. Marriage is for rich guys like Donald Trump who can divorce and remarry without it landing him in the poor house. It’s not for regular Joes.
June 21, 2009 at 7:44 am
Black people need to come out of denial, single parenthood is not good for black males or females — mentally or financially. I believe this has been the greatest error of my generation (those born between 1960-1969)…I see too many devastating effects( poor parenting, drugs, crime, people who regret having those children)…..that’s why we have birth control and common sense, yes my parents wanted to put me on the pill at 13, yes we were working middle class, but I have and absentee parent who set poor moral examples and left alone alot….I turned to boys for attention…..I have never had children, never been pregnant, and have a Master’s Degree in Education. I say all that because I was told I would be nothing but a negative statistic…it’s hard when you have poor parenting, and/or lack or role models, or you just can’t find yourself but creating single parents familes on top of all that is stupid. I know what I am talking about.