Ramblings of a Marriage Junkie

The world of online wedding planning is  a $50-billion a year industry. That kind of cash means there are A LOT of brides spending countless hours on the internet searching for dresses, flowers, invitations and honeymoon destinations.  And they’re exchanging tips and stress points on sites like theknot.com, brides.com and weddingchannel.com.

Lots of women spending lots of time searching and viewing lots of sites to ensure their special day is … well, special.

Are they finding your church for their wedding ceremony?  Are they finding your congregation’s website for your marriage prep program?

Every year, 2.3-million weddings occur, but only one-third of the couples receive marriage preparation.  But a lot more couples would participate in premarital if they could!

A 2004 national survey found an astounding fact that should perk the ears of every pastor: three-out-of-four unmarried persons who are searching for someone to marry said they would attend a premarital education class.  (Read one of my past blog articles for more info on the survey findings).

In a day and age where pastors are searching for new and creative ways to connect with the unchurched population, why not go to where they’re at (the internet) with something they’re looking for (marriage prep and wedding help)?

Can anyone say “no-brainer?”

I’ve reviewed thousands and thousands of sites from churches of all shapes and sizes.  And while a good number of church’s have posted their premarital offerings online, few have done it well.  (In a future article, I will showcase examples of the best promotion of premarital services on church websites.)

So, here are some lessons from real church websites on “How NOT to Promote Your Premarital Ministry on the Internet”. Here are the most common mistakes churches make when marketing marriage preparation online.  (We’ve attempted to conceal the identities of the guilty parties.)

(1) Don’t Promote Marriage Prep on the Web Site

An astounding number of churches do not provide any information about premarital anywhere on the site.  Why attempt to attract any of the 4.6-million people getting married in the next year?  Or the 4.6-million people the next year, and the year after that, and the year after that?  What is so important about people entering into a covenant relationship and beginning a lifelong commitment to one another?  They’ll figure it out.  People would much rather view an empty calendar of events or an outdated promotion of last summer’s youth camp.

(2) Make It Hard for People to Find Your Premarital Ministry

While churches have made great strides in simplifying the main navigationals to move around their sites, I have come across some sub-navigational lists that literally run off the screen.   If a church does list their premarital education services on the site, it is most commonly found under the headings of “Weddings,” “Counseling” or “Ministries”.  If someone is searching for marriage preparation, they shouldn’t have to enact an archaeological dig to find it.

(3) Communicate in Stark, Authoritative Language

All that marketing mumbo-jumbo is for the birds.  Just give couples the facts of what they are to do, how they’re to do it and when it needs to be done to get married at your church.  And they don’t live brevity either.  Make your list of “to-do’s” as long as possible (and in a tiny font).  This generation of engaged couples love to be told what to do with as much specific detail as possible.

(4) Make People Get Off the Computer, Pick Up the Phone and Call the Church

When an engaged couple finally finds your church’s website, navigates to the correct page that details your church’s premarital program, read the information and makes a decision to respond … an email address, a hotlinked word, or a contact form would be too easy.  Just provide a phone number (preferably without the area code) for them to call the church secretary who works from 9 am to 2 pm Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.

(5) Lump Your Premarital With All the Other Counseling Services

This is my personal favorite!  Having been a pastor, I understand the importance (and incessant addiction) to grouping programs in conjunction with the major ministries of the church.  But sometimes, what makes sense on internal planning sheets to delegate pastoral duties doesn’t always translate well when transposed to the outside world (say, on a website).  Marketing is the act of attracting people to respond favorably to the service, product or feature you are marketing.  While premarital ministry may technically fall under the “counseling” category, do you really need to lump it with crisis counseling, addiction ministries or services for dysfunctional relationships?

I especially like the one above  where Premarital Workshops is surrounded by Couples’ Anger Management and followed by Divorce Recovery.  I wonder if they give couples who attend the Premarital Workshop a discount if they use the Divorce Recovery services?

Now you know what NOT to do to promote your premarital program.  Make the most of the church’s best outreach opportunity in the 21st Century.  Reach the droves of brides (and grooms) wanting and needing your premarital program.  Stay tuned for a future article on what to do to set them up for success.

____________________________

K. Jason Krafsky is the author of Before “I Do” – Preparing for the Full Marriage Experience (Turn the Tide Resource Group – www.FullMarriageExperience.com). As a marriage junkie, Jason supports his habit by training leaders on marriage issues, writing articles and books on marriage and family relationships, coaching communities, churches, and ministries on marriage strengthening strategies, and teaching couples about relationship issues (check out his blog at www.MarriageJunkie.com). Jason’s ultimate fix comes from his wife Kelli. They live in the foothills of Washington’s Cascade Mountains with their four children. Contact him at kjasonk@fullmarriageexperience.com or Facebook.

Copyright © 2009 by K. Jason Krafsky – Permission granted to use and reproduce with proper source citation.

Facebook is shaping how 120-million people stay in touch with their friends, family, co-workers and acquaintances.

>> Friends no longer need to initiate conversations through phone calls. Simply update your status (a one-liner about what you’re currently doing or thinking), and Facebook friends (FB friends) immediately receive your status on their profile page.

>> Don’t have time to email a bunch of people with what’s going on in your life?  Post a note or send a message to your group of FB friends with one push of the button.

>> Forget pulling out outdated pictures of your kids from your wallet. Upload a photo (or video) of yourself, your kids, and your experiences to your Facebook page and everyone in your social network receives the picture or video clip on their profile and can comment on it.

Facebook has become the new method of communication for people of all ages.  It is a convenient way to keep in touch with friends, family, old acquaintances, and childhood pals.

So, whether you are an active Facebook user or have a tepid interest in joining one of the largest online social networks in the world, how can Facebook improve and enhance your marriage?

Read our five practical ways to improve your relationship through Facebook on our NEW blog (techlationships.com) >>


………………………………………………………………………………….

K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky are “The Social Media Couple”  who speak, teach and write on all things technology and relationships. Their hope is to empower couples, parents and families to use common sense and healthy boundaries in this social media age. Jason and Kelli wrote Facebook and Your Marriage (2010), the first book ever written on the topic,  and have written extensively on how couples, parents and families can survive and thrive using technology.  The Krafskys have been married since 1994 and live just outside of Seattle  with their four children. Contact them at the SocialMediaCouple.com website, techlationships.com blog, via email at info@techlationships.com, on Twitter (@techlationships) or through Facebook (Social Media Couple).

Copyright © 2009 K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky – Permission granted to use and reproduce with proper source citation.

Ever since the internet has become a regular part of the human experience, cyberspace has been implicated as an accomplice in online affairs, real life adultery, and the break-up marriages.

With every new online fad have come the stories of spouses wandering away from their marriage to a new cyber love interest.  Media has spotlighted tales and trends of online affairs starting through chat rooms, MySpace, Second Life, websites and online forums.

Is Facebook, the world’s fastest growing online social network, just another in a long list of cyber threats to your marriage?

Having been active Facebook users for awhile and experiencing the good, the bad, and the ugly of participating in an online social network, we recognize there are potential threats to your relationship.  But the ultimate threat is not the latest technology … it is the choices you make online and offline … in cyberspace and real life.

Read the rest of the article and the 5 ways to diffuse cyber-threats in your marriage at our NEW blog (techlationships.com) >>

 ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky are “The Social Media Couple”  who speak, teach and write on all things technology and relationships. Their hope is to empower couples, parents and families to use common sense and healthy boundaries in this social media age. Jason and Kelli wrote Facebook and Your Marriage (2010), the first book ever written on the topic,  and have written extensively on how couples, parents and families can survive and thrive using technology.  The Krafskys have been married since 1994 and live just outside of Seattle  with their four children. Contact them at the SocialMediaCouple.com website, techlationships.com blog, via email at info@techlationships.com, on Twitter (@techlationships) or through Facebook (Social Media Couple).

Copyright © 2009 K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky – Permission granted to use and reproduce with proper source citation.

South Yukon Church of Christ (SYCC) is committed to helping marriages thrive in their congregation and community!

The black Marriage Junkie T-shirt has become the SYCC’s marriage ministry “uniform”.

“Our culture needs to believe in the power of the marital relationship again,” says Richard May, Pulpit Minister at SYCC.   “It’s important that those of us who still believe that marriage works let our voices be heard, and a t-shirt is a good conversation piece.”

The team of couples wear the marriagejunkie t-shirts to church-sponsored events, marriage ministry classes and even outside the church.

Pastor May believes, “If you are a marriage junkie, you are passionate about your own marriage and the marriages of those around you.  Wearing a t-shirt that says marriage junkie on it prompts questions from people about marriage and gives an opportunity to talk about the foundational relationship.”

Pastor May shares the story about a couple who quickly realized that the message on the t-shirt isn’t just to spark conversation about marriage, but to live out marriage.

“Robyn and Micah Keele were wearing their marriagejunkie shirts to a family gathering.  As they moved around preparing for the upcoming meal and fun, Robyn confesses that she snapped at Micah.  As quickly as the words came out, these words followed, “Micah, I’m sorry; that didn’t sound very nice.”  It was important to her that the people who heard her snappiness also heard her apology.  She had realized that she was wearing a marriagejunkie t-shirt, but she had not sounded like a wife concerned about her marriage!”

Pastor May later wrote about the situation and linked the marriage junkie clothing to “being clothed in Christ”.

“This clothing of Christ is an expression of our unity and our salvation, but surely it is a call to a higher way to live.  This higher call, specifically described as the Fruit of the Spirit later in Galatians, should be lived out first in our marriages.  This is one more way that ‘when our marriage mirrors our relationship with God, we have Hope for the future and heaven on earth today!’ Does the way you talk to your spouse, in public and private, reflect that you are clothed with Christ?”

If your church has a marriage ministry — help your leaders feel like they belong to a team!  Build camaraderie and pride while spreading the message that you’re committed to marriage!

Purchase Marriage Junkie T-shirts for just $10 (plus S/H). Four colors to pick from (black, white, gray and light blue).  Three different styles to choose.  Six different sizes (S-3XL).

View the downloadable order form or check them out on E-bay!